


Hard moving on

by Kittykayla1987



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 00:59:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6494617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittykayla1987/pseuds/Kittykayla1987
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You messed up and he paid the price. You knew you could never forgive yourself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hard moving on

It was your fault. You messed up. You weren't careful and Dean pushed you out of the way. You looked up from the ground just in time to see the werewolf tear into his chest. Everything played out around you in slow motion. Sam ran into the room and fired 3 shots into the creature, killing it instantly. You ran to Dean, hoping you could patch up whatever the werewolf had done, but when you got to.him, his eyes just stared up to the ceiling. Cold. Lifeless. You dropped to your knees, pulled him to you and sobbed. You had gotten the man you loved killed. 

You and Sam drove back to the bunker in silence. You had both decided to bury Dean, hoping that something would bring him back to you. Before you laid him to rest, you wrote him a note and told him everything you never got the chance to say. You stuffed it in his pocket and continued on. When you got to the bunker it felt empty. Sam had told you it wasn't your fault. That there was nothing you could have done differently.  But you knew he blamed you. He knew that you and Dean had loved each other but were too stubborn to say anything. He knew if you hadn't been there Dean wouldn't have needed to save you. He would never say it to you, but he knew.

After a month of trying to carry on, hunting with Sam, living with him, only to have him ignore you at all times, you left. You took off one night while he was asleep and didn't look back. You lived in motel rooms, pouring yourself into hunts. Being reckless. You had gotten pretty damn good at stitching yourself up in these last 6 months. You weren't sleeping. Barely eating. Drinking yourself into oblivion. Ignoring Sam everytime he called. Turning off your GPS so he couldn't locate you. 

You awoke one morning to pounding on the door. Your head was throbbing. "For fucks sake, hold on one fucking minute!" You stumbled to the door and threw it open, only to be greeted by Sam's concerned face. "(Y/n) you look like shit. I've been looking everywhere for you." You turned away and walked into the room, "Yeah well you found me. What do you want?" A different voice spoke up, " I wanted to see if you meant everything you said in your letter." 

You head whipped around so fast, you could have broken your neck. "Dean? How? I'm. I don't. How long have you been back?" Sam slapped his shoulder and left the room. "Yesterday. I came back yesterday and wanted to see you, but Sammy said you ran off. So we turned your GPS on and tracked you here. Now stop avoiding my question. Did you mean it?" You nodded. He walked to you, stopping an inch from you. "I'm so sorry Dean. It was all my fault you died." He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. "Shhh. It's ok baby, I'd die everyday if it meant keeping you safe. And I love you too, by the way." You chuckled. You suddenly felt like everything would be ok. 

"Dean?" "Yes?" "Can you at least try to not die everyday? I barely made it through one time, I don't think I can handle 365?" He laughed. "I promise. Now, come here." He crashed your lips together. Oh, yes. Everything was going to be ok, indeed. 


End file.
